My eyes are wild with an unfulfilled addiction as I sit in my room trying to hack the neighbours wifi password. “Rogers42” has taken up an hour of my life as I type multiple passwords in. I try “Rogers42” backwards more than once. I will hack it, I know I can. I am counting on the neighbours having low intelligence and little creativity so I can get online.
Ever since I moved in with my grandparents I have been living with no internet. It sounds so scary I know, my eyes are watering just typing it. Seriously. But to my grandparents it is unnecessary to have.
I am starting to understand why they go to bed so early now. No internet=nothing to do=early to bed.
I went to bed at 8pm last night, I don’t even know who I am anymore. After reading a little in my book about the 2015 Blue Jays, I curl up into a ball and go to sleep. “Rogers 42” will have to wait for tomorrow night. For now my evenings include reading and listening to the radio.
I no longer have the luxury of scrolling through Facebook. I can’t update Instagram regularly. I imagine my large number of Instagram followers (130) are getting anxious with my lack of activity. Soon they will hit unfollow. 130 will become 129, and so on until I will just be posting pictures for myself. At least I know my brother won’t unfollow me.
It gives me little comfort in this internet less world.
I would gladly trade indoor plumbing for internet. It would be easier to go outside and pee in the backyard than be disconnected from the world like I am now.
Take away the water, I’ll shower when it rains.
My grandparents don’t know what they’re missing. I am alone in my misery as I sit at their kitchen table with its lime green table cloth. They do not know the addiction of Facebook or the fun in creeping celebrities Instagram accounts. They do not speak the language of social media, much like I don’t speak their gardening language.
My grandfather takes me out to the backyard and tells me about the different kind of flowers they’re growing. Until I moved in, I had no idea what “annuals” were. Dandelions I find out, are a dirty word to the experienced gardener. “They spread like anything, you know?” he says to me. I nod, but I don’t know, I know how stuff can spread on social media quickly but not about dandelions. To me, they just look like pretty flowers. But I agree anyway, disagreeing or voicing anything but a dislike for the dandelions is a no no.
My grandfather is too immersed in the dandelion problem to worry about how it is only a matter of time before my Facebook friends think I’m dead.
To get my fix I have to walk from my grandparent’s house to Walmart. I push past shoppers browsing in the food section. I don’t want any vegetables. I want Walmarts free wifi. I head towards the section that sells chairs and tables. The security guard smiles and gives me a little wave with a look of recognition. I am too excited to check social media to be embarrassed that the Walmart security guard knows who I am.
I sink into a dark blue chair. It is time to check Facebook, Instagram, and my email.
If I wasn’t so cheap maybe I would fork over an extra 20 bucks a month and pay for some data on my phone. But, I am cheap and poor.
For now I can survive the summer being a Walmart regular and using their internet. I am a sad sight I know, I have gone from being a normal 20-year-old to sitting here trying to keep updated on the world outside my grandparents house.
The other day I even used a phone book. Do you know what that is? It’s horrifying. I had to use this book to find a phone number I could have simply googled. It was this giant thing with so many pages.
I wouldn’t be surprised if a dinosaur walked through my room and said “oh I guess things haven’t changed too much since I last roamed the earth.”
The one good thing about having no wifi and spending so much time at Walmart is that I’ve discovered they sell bubble gum flavoured icecream. It is this incredibly delicious shade of pink, with little pieces of crunchy bubblegum in it. I eat it twice a day with raspberry syrup and banana. In a way I think it is filling the void in my heart that used to be filled with internet. Now, I fill it with food.
When I waddle back to school to start third year, I’m definitely going to blame it on living with no internet.
My hopes are that I will be able to hack “Rogers42” and live off the neighbours wifi, before the bubble gum icecream leaves me looking permanently pregnant.
Ever since I moved in with my grandparents I have been living with no internet. It sounds so scary I know, my eyes are watering just typing it. Seriously. But to my grandparents it is unnecessary to have.
I am starting to understand why they go to bed so early now. No internet=nothing to do=early to bed.
I went to bed at 8pm last night, I don’t even know who I am anymore. After reading a little in my book about the 2015 Blue Jays, I curl up into a ball and go to sleep. “Rogers 42” will have to wait for tomorrow night. For now my evenings include reading and listening to the radio.
I no longer have the luxury of scrolling through Facebook. I can’t update Instagram regularly. I imagine my large number of Instagram followers (130) are getting anxious with my lack of activity. Soon they will hit unfollow. 130 will become 129, and so on until I will just be posting pictures for myself. At least I know my brother won’t unfollow me.
It gives me little comfort in this internet less world.
I would gladly trade indoor plumbing for internet. It would be easier to go outside and pee in the backyard than be disconnected from the world like I am now.
Take away the water, I’ll shower when it rains.
My grandparents don’t know what they’re missing. I am alone in my misery as I sit at their kitchen table with its lime green table cloth. They do not know the addiction of Facebook or the fun in creeping celebrities Instagram accounts. They do not speak the language of social media, much like I don’t speak their gardening language.
My grandfather takes me out to the backyard and tells me about the different kind of flowers they’re growing. Until I moved in, I had no idea what “annuals” were. Dandelions I find out, are a dirty word to the experienced gardener. “They spread like anything, you know?” he says to me. I nod, but I don’t know, I know how stuff can spread on social media quickly but not about dandelions. To me, they just look like pretty flowers. But I agree anyway, disagreeing or voicing anything but a dislike for the dandelions is a no no.
My grandfather is too immersed in the dandelion problem to worry about how it is only a matter of time before my Facebook friends think I’m dead.
To get my fix I have to walk from my grandparent’s house to Walmart. I push past shoppers browsing in the food section. I don’t want any vegetables. I want Walmarts free wifi. I head towards the section that sells chairs and tables. The security guard smiles and gives me a little wave with a look of recognition. I am too excited to check social media to be embarrassed that the Walmart security guard knows who I am.
I sink into a dark blue chair. It is time to check Facebook, Instagram, and my email.
If I wasn’t so cheap maybe I would fork over an extra 20 bucks a month and pay for some data on my phone. But, I am cheap and poor.
For now I can survive the summer being a Walmart regular and using their internet. I am a sad sight I know, I have gone from being a normal 20-year-old to sitting here trying to keep updated on the world outside my grandparents house.
The other day I even used a phone book. Do you know what that is? It’s horrifying. I had to use this book to find a phone number I could have simply googled. It was this giant thing with so many pages.
I wouldn’t be surprised if a dinosaur walked through my room and said “oh I guess things haven’t changed too much since I last roamed the earth.”
The one good thing about having no wifi and spending so much time at Walmart is that I’ve discovered they sell bubble gum flavoured icecream. It is this incredibly delicious shade of pink, with little pieces of crunchy bubblegum in it. I eat it twice a day with raspberry syrup and banana. In a way I think it is filling the void in my heart that used to be filled with internet. Now, I fill it with food.
When I waddle back to school to start third year, I’m definitely going to blame it on living with no internet.
My hopes are that I will be able to hack “Rogers42” and live off the neighbours wifi, before the bubble gum icecream leaves me looking permanently pregnant.